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Exploring the word

24 Jul 2011 - Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

There’s something about buried treasure that stirs the imagination of children everywhere—children of all ages, I should say. Recently an anchor from the 18th-century pirate Blackbeard’s ship Queen Anne’s Revenge was dredged up in the Atlantic Ocean off North Carolina. An old rusting hunk of metal, its apparent value not impressive, still the anchor dragged up with it dreams of sunken chests and wild adventures at the service of riches untold. Buried treasure has many facets: instant wealth, deliciously secretive, available only to those willing to delve under the surface to discover it. Young King Solomon aims for such treasure when he prays for wisdom to rule and judge. Many a leader in his position might have asked for more superficial riches: heaps of gold, powerful armies, or dominion over his subjects. Digging deeper, Solomon acquires a prize that will make him one of the most celebrated monarchs in history. Saint Paul, too, might have settled for the learning he received from the best school in Jerusalem. He knew the Law of Moses backwards and forwards and could have enjoyed an esteemed rabbinic career. But when a revelation shattered his plans, he stepped into a realm of understanding far more penetrating than what can be taught by mortals. It made him a poorer man by worldly standards—but a prince among the communion of saints. Jesus invites us to go on a quest for buried treasure in pursuit of a kingdom hidden from our eyes. We’ll find it buried under the surface of things, lost in the marketplace, waiting to be found at the bottom of the sea of human experience. It will take some doing to discover this kingdom and will cost everything in our possession to acquire it. To those who appreciate its value, nothing could be as important as this quest. To those who see with worldly eyes, unwilling to look deeper, this treasure may remain forever buried, right under their feet. Today our nation is celebrating Parents Day, honoring those who have made the commitment to family above all other values. In a society that lures us with material prizes and personal freedoms, it’s more difficult than ever to dig deeper and find the treasure buried in family life. Those who dedicate themselves to the nurture of children will sacrifice decades of time, most of their resources, and all of their love to this labor. They will surrender personal goals for family-centered ones. They will feel at times that they have delivered themselves entirely into the service of their children. Like the merchant seeking the best pearls, those who make the investment will come to recognize the pearl of great price in family life. When you buy the field, the buried treasure comes with it. Related scripture links The wise seek wisdom, the foolish don't: Prov. 4:7, 9:7-9, 10:8, 13-14, 12:15, 14:1, 18:2; Sir. 21:14-15, 18 Solomon's wisdom: 1 Kings 3:16-28, 6:37-38, 8:22-66, 10:1-13 Solomon's folly: 1 Kings 5:27-28, 7:1, 9:1-9, 15-23, 11:1-13 Upside-down kingdom reality: Matt. 5:3-12, 10:39, 11:4-5, 11:30, 16:25-26, 18:1-4, 19:30, 20:16, 22:14, 23:11-12; Luke 6:27-30, 9:48, 13:30, 14:11, 18:14 Humility and wisdom: Prov. 11:2, 15:33 Catechism links Kingdom: CCC 541-560 Kingship of Jesus: CCC 436-440; 668-672

Authors Alice Camille

wisdom of solomon parents' day family life

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Child raising is not cheap

24 Aug 2014 - Preaching the News for Sunday

Those who gather together to worship are family, says Alice Camille in a reflection on the meaning of the community gathered in worship in this Sunday’s Exploring the Word. When it comes to creating a biological family, better pull out the pocketbook—the cost of raising a child has risen to about a quarter of a million dollars, and that doesn’t even include the cost of college. Fortunately there are strategies that help. To raise a child born in 2013 to the age of 18, it will cost a middle-income couple just over $245,000, according to newly released estimates from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That's up $4,260, or almost 2 percent, from the year before. Estimates can vary widely depending on where you live and how much you earn. High-income families who live in the urban Northeast, for example, are projected to spend nearly $455,000 to raise their child to the age of 18, while low-income rural families will spend much less, an estimated $145,500, according to the report. The figures are based on the cost of housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, education, child care, and miscellaneous expenses like haircuts and cell phones. But the estimates don't include the cost of college—a big-ticket expense that keeps rising. The good news: Overall costs have grown more slowly in recent years thanks to low inflation, said economist Mark Lino, who has written the annual report for the USDA since 1987. But many families still have to do more with less. The country's median income remains more than 8 percent below where it was before the recession, while child care and health care costs continue to grow faster than inflation. For families trying to get by, one suggestion is to network. From fancy strollers to bike seats Boulder, Colorado mother-of-two Kate Lacroix said she has found a large community of people willing to share their hand-me-downs. "There is a real economy of scale when you use the village," she said. Try looking on local parenting blogs or websites to find everything from free baby clothes to a family looking to share a nanny. Homily hint: A recent worldwide survey found the U.S. near the bottom among developed nations when it comes to policies on paid maternity leave. A society that upholds families and protects life needs to be consistent in supporting young families as they nourish that life. Encourage businesses you work for or patronize to expand their support for maternity leave and working families. Source: An article by Melanie Hicken for CNN Money

Children family life child raising

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It’s family hour at the Vatican

12 Oct 2014 - Preaching the News for Sunday

In this Sunday’s gospel parable, a king hosts a wedding feast but is frustrated and angered by the response he gets from those invited. Hosting a synod of bishops in Rome to discuss issues related to family life, Pope Francis opened the global assembly Sunday by indirectly expressing his frustration that some of those invited have chosen to spar publicly over some of the issues to be examined.Alluding to the in-fighting that preceded the gathering, Francis lamented that some "pastors lay intolerable burdens on the shoulders of others." His homily spelled out the spirit he wants church leaders to bring to the synod. "Synod gatherings are not meant to discuss beautiful and clever ideas, or to see who is more intelligent," Francis said. Rather, it's an opportunity to "work generously with authentic freedom and humble creativity."Debate on family issues has intensified after a worldwide survey showed that many Catholics do not accept church teachings on birth control, sex before marriage, and acceptance of homosexual relationships.Thus far, married couples invited as “auditors” have turned some heads, says Vatican observer John Allen. Jeff and Alice Heinzen of La Crosse, Wisconsin told the pope and 180 bishops attending a synod devoted to family issues that they were alarmed by the number of young people born out of wedlock or living with divorced parents.“We know countless divorced adults who have joined other faith communities because they do not feel welcomed in the Catholic Church.” What’s more, the couple added, the church’s pastoral programs were failing to address the forces impacting marriage and family life.Yesterday the synod heard from Ron and Mavis Pirola of Sydney, Australia, who’ve been married for 55 years and have four children. They delivered a dose of real life, telling the bishops about friends whose gay son said he wanted to bring his partner home for Christmas.The Pirolas explained that their friends are faithful Catholics but also loving parents who wanted their grandchildren to see them welcoming their son’s partner into the family. Their response, the Pirolas said, could be expressed in three simple words: “He’s our son.”The Pirolas offered the episode to illustrate how clerics might learn something from families about how to strike a balance that upholds church teaching while showing “mercy and compassion.”No immediate changes are expected to result from the synod, although it will prepare the way for a larger gathering of Catholic leaders next year that could present the pope with suggestions that lead to changes in issues related to the family and sexual morality.Homily hint: Nothing is more important to the health of church and society alike than strong families. To be strong, families of all shapes, sizes, colors, and configurations need our unconditional support. Pray that those gathered in Rome can emerge with a message that conveys that kind of support. Source: Articles by Philip Pullella for Reuters, John L. Allen, Jr. for Crux, Francis D’Emilio for Associated Press, and Josephine McKenna for Religion News Service

synod of bishops family life

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Take your time, Netflix tells new parents

09 Aug 2015 - Preaching the News for Sunday

This Sunday’s first reading suggests that Elijah needed lots of TLC and nurturing to continue the prophetic mission to which the Lord called him. Netflix corporation thinks new parents should be able to focus on nurturing their infant in the first year of life, announcing a new paid parental leave policy that likely is the most generous in the nation. The video-streaming company will allow new moms and dads to take as much fully paid leave as they want in the first year after their child’s birth or adoption. Homily hint: Balancing family time with work responsibilities has been a challenge parents have faced for generations. Families need time together to create the bonds that nurture and last. Kudos for Netflix and may other companies follow suit. Raising a family should never be a liability in the workforce. For more on Netflix' pioneering parental leave policy, see: Netflix pioneers a year of parental leave: Will others follow?

family life parental leave

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Pope Francis: Don’t divorce remarried Catholics from the church

09 Aug 2015 - Preaching the News for Sunday

We hear in this Sunday’s gospel that the people “murmured about Jesus” because they didn’t know what to make of the things he said. Some of Pope Francis’ striking statements on social and economic issues have those who would like to pigeon-hole the pontiff into one ideological camp or another murmuring. But one commentator points out that Francis isn’t conservative or progressive so much as a consummate evangelist—he wants everyone to feel welcome in the church and for the church to welcome everyone. Wednesday he encouraged clergy not to treat divorced Catholics who remarry, along with their children, as if they're excommunicated. “They absolutely must not be treated that way,” Francis said. “They always belong to the church," he said, insisting it must maintain “open doors.” Homily hint: It is refreshing to see how Pope Francis emphasizes the catholicity—universality—of our faith tradition. As Jesus reminded us on more than one occasion, he did not come to save the righteous, he comes for everyone. For more on Pope Francis’ approach to evangelism, see: Pope Francis’s divorce comments show he’s neither a liberal nor conservative. He’s an evangelist.

Evangelization family life divorce and remarriage

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A newborn gets a sisterly assist

06 Dec 2015 - Preaching the News for Sunday

The Lord “has done great things for us” the psalmist affirms this Sunday; “our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with rejoicing.” Tara Knightley and her 11-year-old daughter Caitlin were all smiles and laughs after Caitlin did a great thing when her mother suddenly went into labor, helping deliver a child who is now her baby sister. Caitlin calmly followed directions over the phone as she assisted in her own sister’s birth. “She got the towels, she then helped remove the cord because it was wrapped around the baby, and she helped to rub and stimulate her because she wasn’t crying,” her mother said. As if that wasn’t enough action for one day, Caitlin then handed the newborn to her mother and headed off to school. “My friends at school and the teachers were really happy and proud of me,” said Caitlin. Homily hint: Children have tremendous capacities and are capable of great things. It is we adults who perhaps too often sell them short by not seeing their strengths. Respect children—someday one might come to your rescue! For more on this story, see: 11-Year-Old Delivers Mom’s Baby, Heads to School

family life childbirth

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Homily stories

14 Feb 2010 - Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle C

An old jazz duet was being interviewed on Larry King Live. It was fun seeing clips of their earlier days and hearing the behind-the-scenes stories of how they met and what other jazz greats they worked with throughout their long careers. Then King started asking them about their family life, and in the process they recounted how they had lost their oldest son to a rare heart disorder. The devastation of that loss was immediately apparent in their faces. They shared some of the details of their grief. King then asked them what role their faith played in the process. The wife, who had been raised Catholic, admitted that the little faith she once had shriveled and died the day her son died. The husband, who was Jewish, responded, “I received a lot of comfort from prayer but beyond that I couldn’t say. I’m not sure.” I felt terribly sad for both of them. Losing a child, feeling robbed of a loved one’s company—it’s hard to imagine anything more devastating. Our natural instinct is, of course, to ask God, Why? But Hebrew and Christian scripture is very clear that the question to ask God is not Why? but How? How do I bear this pain? How long must I suffer? How do I stay faithful? And God’s answer? Trust me: You will be satisfied, you will laugh, your reward will be great—and, behold, your son is not dead but asleep.

Authors Patrice J. Tuohy

family life death of a child Faith larry king

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Homily stories

04 Apr 2010 - Solemnity of the Resurrection of the Lord (Easter Sunday), Cycle C

Living in a family is a great way to learn that people’s biggest fault is typically just the flip side of their best virtue. The person who is quick to give, but gives to a fault. Or the one who is honest—but sometimes brutally so. Or even the one who usually has great advice—whether you want it or not. Throughout the gospels Peter showed himself to be brash, impetuous, and quick to put his foot in his mouth. He also proved to be quick to rush toward belief, even if he was stumbling his way there. That’s how he acted on the first Easter morning. Others may have arrived at the empty tomb first, but Peter was the first to enter a place that Jewish law said would make him unclean. He showed what we all need to know, that to really come to believe in the Resurrection, we need to follow Jesus into the tomb. We need to follow his way of the Cross, even if it takes us where we are most afraid to go. And he also teaches us that God can even use our most troubling faults to get us there. So don’t worry so much about your troubling faults; focus on following Jesus. The rest will all work out.

Authors Tom McGrath

family family life Weakness empty tomb Resurrection

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Exploring the word

29 Dec 2019 - Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Cycle A

I’m not a parent, so I may be stepping out on a limb in discussing what the dreams of a parent look like. But not too long a limb, because I do have six brothers and sisters who are parents, plus I had parents myself who had dreams for me. Because the average Catholic preacher, we might assume, is similarly handicapped in the offspring department, I think we can at least rely on the fact that we all have dreams for those we love. These dreams are powerful things, too. They can create reality and become the liberation—or suffocation—of those who are their subject. What are the elements of a parent’s dreams for his or her child? Hope is a primary ingredient, and it can take many forms: a generic hope for happiness, health, and well-being, or a more specific notion of a successful life. Some parents dream that their children will be doctors, lawmakers, or CEOs. Others just want grandchildren. One of my sisters wants her children to excel in school so they can take the world by storm. My other sister hopes her kids will learn to laugh and enjoy life. I’ve heard parents say they don’t care what their kids do so long as they remain close to the family religion and values. Others say the next generation needs to find its own way, and all we can do is give them a good example and some room to make thoughtful decisions. Some parents’ dreams for their children, of course, sound more like nightmares. The pressure can be intense to live up to Mom’s ambitions or to fulfill Dad’s unmet goals. And then there are the negative expectations heaped upon the kids. I’ve heard parents say, within earshot of their son, “He’s my dumb boy. He’ll never amount to anything.” Or “She’s a bad girl. She’s going to be trouble.” Does it surprise us that not a few of these prophecies parents make for their children are swiftly and accurately realized? Parents’ dreams for their children can harness them to the stars or condemn them to ruin. Having no expectations of their children may be the worst thing of all. Honor within families Ben Sira wants children to honor their fathers and mothers. This is in keeping with the Fourth Commandment, which is the first commandment governing our relationship to fellow human beings. Right after the three commandments about what we owe to God comes this injunction about what we owe to our parents. It’s that serious. In terms of psychology, parents are our original gods. They are the supreme authorities that govern our lives: our creators, sustainers, teachers, and role models. We are made in their image, and we are in most respects their creatures. So it’s no wonder that, just after God, we are commanded to honor Mom and Dad. But what does this honor entail? Not worship, but obedience, respect, and reverence, for starters. Later, when we are grown and they are failing, we owe them our protection and support as well. It will be up to Saint Paul later to add the recommendation: “Parents, do not nag your children, lest they lose heart.” The idea that there is something like honor due to children as sacred persons before God in their own right is a late-developing idea, but better late than never. Subordination, anyone? Children are obviously subordinate to adults in nearly every circumstance. “Give Grandma your chair” is just good sense, of course, and no one is arguing that all sense of hierarchy is a bad thing. Grown-ups get to make the rules, and children do have to bend to the agenda of their parents, teachers, and older siblings, to name a few. Subordination is good training for the grown-up world in which we have to obey the rules of the company, submit to the agenda of the employer, accept the laws of the government, or face the penalty for not doing so. It also prepares us for the spiritual reality that God is sovereign, divine laws are in operation, and ignoring their authority opens us to a world of hurt we call sin, suffering, and death. But because we live in a world where sin happens, subordination spins out of control and becomes an oppressive and destructive force. Once creation was subject to Adam and Eve, and that was a good thing. They acted as stewards for the innocence of the Garden and its creatures. But add sin, and stewards easily become ravagers, guardians turn into jailers, and kings morph into tyrants. There may have been a time when the idea of a wife’s subordination to her husband was a helpful and protective measure for the physically more vulnerable woman. It would be harder to defend the notion now, especially as we’ve seen what centuries of subordination did for females, not to mention vulnerable minorities of every kind. Applying the word Joseph has a dream for his family Like his ancestor of the same name in Genesis, Joseph is a dreamer, and his night visions become vividly realized in the daytime. The content of his dreams might approach the realm of nightmares: First, he is asked to take a pregnant girl to wife and trust in God for the outcome. Then he is asked to become a fugitive, because the child his wife has borne is marked for death by no less than the king of the land. Finally, he is guided to believe that the threat is over, and he can take his family home with confidence. But Joseph doesn’t go back to Judea—can we blame his insecurity? Instead, he resettles in the northern town of Nazareth, away from the perils of the past that have haunted his family. Did Joseph have the usual dreams of family life as well? Hopes for a peaceful home for his wife and son, and a life that was normal, stable, and profitable? Whatever dreams Joseph might have had before the first visitation by an angel in the nighttime, he had to surrender them for the greater dream God was offering him and the whole world. Nothing about Joseph’s family would ever be typical or predictable. But everything about it would be full of grace. Related scripture links Fourth Commandment: Exod. 20:12; Deut. 5:16; Mark 10:19; Matt. 19:19; Luke 18:20; Rom. 13:9 Paul and subordination: Rom. 13:1-10; 1 Cor. 7:3-4, but also 11:3-12; Eph. 4:11-16, 5:21-6:9 Subordination in creation: Gen. 1:26-31, 3:14-19

Authors Alice Camille

parents' dreams family life

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Featured Exploring the Word

06 Oct 2024 - Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B

Family life is a sign of God’s blessing, the psalmist tells us. Then he paints a quaint illustration of what that means. The wife is a fruitful vine in the protective quarters of the home. Children are like olive plants around the table awaiting the time of their abundant yield. In the typical style of ancient writing, we aren’t told what the husband offers to this arrangement. It sounds as if he’s meant to be the beneficiary! When we compare this stylized ancient portrait of the family to the one gathered around the modern dinner table, we may feel something’s been lost in translation. Married women seldom have the option of hanging around the recesses of the home nowadays. Children may or may not yield a bumper crop according to their parents’ expectations. It’s the naïve husband and father who imagines that family life exists exclusively for his pleasure. Such men are routinely disappointed. That presumes, of course, that the family in question still gathers around the table at all. Family life, whether ancient or modern, rarely performs to the standards of its comforting advertising. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. God knows we’re not designed to be alone, as the Genesis story beautifully reminds us. God sets about creating various options to assuage human loneliness, but God doesn’t insist on any one of them. God lets the man do the naming of the elements of his reality. Cattle, birds, and wild animals are added to the scene and the man finds a name and a place for each in his world. But none presents itself as a suitable partner until he meets the one who shares his life, flesh and bone, and with whom he can at last form a family. A lot of people today find great satisfaction in their dogs, cats, birds, and goldfish. They may even argue that pets bring greater happiness (with less heartbreak) than people do. You can put an animal on a leash, in a cage or bowl, and train it to perform to specifications, to provide companionship or entertainment on demand. We can’t do that with family members. They are free, as we are, to choose their own way. It takes extra effort to create a family out of a handful of human beings. It takes commitment, not to mention the investment of a lifetime of love, presence, listening, and sharing, plus financial and emotional support. Families need us now and they need us later, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, in a shifting sea of conditions we can’t predict. And when we do gather around that table at last, our family may not look at all like the ideal our psalmist has in mind. But God has yet to withhold a blessing on the grounds of appearances. Related scripture links Human loneliness not the plan: Gen. 2:18 Jesus’ invitation to divine unity: John 17:6-26 The interdependence of community: 1 Cor. 12:12-26 Make my joy complete by your unanimity: Phil. 2:2 Behavior of united people: Col. 3:12-14 Catechism links Sacrament of Matrimony: CCC 1601-1658 Adapted from a previously published Exploring the word.

Authors Alice Camille

family life

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